"If you are searching for the one person that will change your life, look in the mirror."
All throughout life we look into mirrors. We look into mirrors to check our appearance to see what the world sees, to see what we want to present to the world. Sometimes reflections are not always an outward appearance, but an internal feeling, an interior view of ourselves that may not always portray what we are showing to the outside world. For a long time the reflection that I saw in the mirror became less and less of the person I recognized and knew. It had become a tortured soul and I didn’t know who or what I was becoming.
It makes me think of a song by Christina Perri called “The Lonely.” The lyrics are hauntingly relatable: I’m a ghost of a girl that I want to be most. I’m the shell of a girl that I used to know well…Broken pieces of a barely breathing story. Where there once was love. Now there’s only me and the lonely.
That was exactly who I was for a very long time. I felt I was a broken shell of a person but I could not present to the world that I was someone who could not hold it all together, even though I was raging a war within myself. (Excerpt from my book: When The Last Bell Rang)
I came to realize over time that the more I tried to run from, suppress and hide, the more significantly all of those things I was running from would rear their ugly heads like evil monsters in a horror movie.
Have you ever heard the expression "The only way out is through"?
I believe that this is so very true. You can't run from things, especially unresolved emotions or conflicts that are like ticking time bombs within yourself and expect them to just miraculously diffuse and go away. Sometimes to really look at ourselves may be the most difficult thing we will ever do because, lets be honest, we may not always like the reflection that is staring back at us. It's easier for us to just put on a brave face and smile to the world and pretend that life is fantastic. That is until the time bomb goes off and lets face it, it will eventually go off.
If you have gone through traumas, tragedies or extremely difficult times in life, I think we have all felt the internal struggle to figure out the best way to work through them. Over the years I would come to find the best way for me to work through the emotions is to deal with them head on. I would sometimes have to ask myself these questions of what is bringing those thoughts to me. If it is a conflict that I am having whether it is individual or involving others, I find it is best to talk it through and not hold onto the negative emotions. Sometimes that is when our healthy outlets take effect. We may need to take a step back and just breathe or do something that helps us to decompress in a healthy way until we can fully deal with what it is that is negatively affecting our emotional state. Maybe take a walk, listen to music, take a drive to somewhere you find peaceful. I definitely learned over time that the more you think negatively, the more you seem to get bombarded with negativity.
It's like the old saying goes, "What you put out into the universe you will get back."
Pay attention the next time you are feeling really low or negative. Doesn't it feel that everything around you just seems to have that same feeling. On the flip side, haven't you ever felt on top of the world and it seems that everything around you begins to react positively?
It's like a ripple effect.
When you put out positive vibes it seems the positive vibes come back to you. I didn't think this was true until I really began paying close attention to both those bad and good times and how like a magnet I was attracting these emotions and situations.
I began to make a conscious effort to recognize my emotions and what was happening in my life. I began to realize that the one person that had control over my life was staring back at me in the mirror every day. We may not have control over all of the things that happen to us in our lives and some days can be truly excruciating as some days can be truly exhilarating.
Some days it may be hard for us to conjure up a positive thought in our minds let alone strike a happy pose, smile and truly feel that way on the inside. I do however, believe that with every step forward no matter how big or small, will eventually get us to the place of peace that we are all truly seeking, the place where the reflection looking back at us in the mirror truly represents one of light, one of peace, one of hope and one that knows that the happiness that we have been seeking has been within each one of us all along.
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